I hear what you say, but what are you telling me? : the strategic use of nonverbal communication in mediation /
Barbara G. Madonik.
- San Francisco, CA : Jossey-Bass, c2001.
- xxix, 287 p. ; 24 cm.
Includes bibliographical references (p. 267-273) and index.
Essential definitions and practical applications -- Essential definitions: terms and tools -- Systems --Cues -- Language -- Paralanguage -- Levels of awareness -- Space --Touch -- Time -- Objects -- Symbolism -- Practical applications: representational systems -- Eye cues and patterns -- Physical cues and patterns -- Language cues and patterns -- Paralanguage cues and patterns -- Deciding on a system -- Practical applications: general patterns and techniques -- Understanding messages in patterns of communication -- Identifying individuals' cues and patterns -- Applying nonverbal techniques during mediation -- Seven steps to getting results -- Step 1: be prepared -- Planning ahead -- Having useful equipment on hand -- Gathering facts -- Step 2 : maximizing the initial telephone contact -- Physical factors in telephone communication -- Conversation management -- Paralanguage nuances -- Questioning -- Step 3: managing the environment -- Examining the power balance -- Providing for safety -- Establishing comfort -- Conveying respect -- Step 4: assessing thee parties -- Knowing yourself -- Tracking the big picture -- Tracking detailed information -- Identifying action triggers -- Identifying working frameworks -- Step 5: building rapport -- Engaging the parties -- Adjusting your responsiveness -- Changing communication in the room -- Configuring productive work units -- Step 6: triggering action -- Coming face-to-face with the real issues -- Enabling the parties to build momentum -- Dealing with derailments -- Encouraging physical movement to change mental positions -- Step 7: bringing closure -- Helping parties make productive decisions -- Presenting the offer in a compelling way -- Guarding against buyer's remorse -- Guiding the parties to craft the final agreement jointly -- Helping parties leave the conflict behind.
It has been estimated that less than twenty percent of all human communication is expressed through words. This means that in order to get to the heart of what people are really saying we must have the ability to read the subtext of nonverbal communication. Yet mediators often lack the skills they need to analyze and utilize the rich meaning that is found in nonverbal communication. This step-by-step handbook teaches you how to tune all your senses into what is happening with parties and counsel during mediation and thereby greatly increase your ability to prepare for and facilitate the overall process.